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Even in conversation, it felt good to be someone who could fulfill not just one person’s fantasy, but two at once.But I quickly discovered that, like any type of dating, this arrangement can sometimes be complicated and confusing.But your needs, your desires, and importantly, your boundaries have not yet been a part of that conversation, and it’s up to you to make them clear.You might be fulfilling a fantasy of theirs, but you’re not just there to serve, or to act as an accessory.I immediately liked that he was openly affectionate toward her, while at the same time trying to learn more about me.I was hoping to be their unicorn.“Unicorn” describes a person who joins a couple as their third partner, for sex or even for something more committed.It earned its mythical name because willing participants tend to be rare and difficult to find, though online dating has helped connect unicorns with couples more easily than ever (there’s even an app for seeking out a unicorn relationship, Feeld).It was never really a title I thought I’d be interested in trying out, but after years of singledom I found myself more sexually curious than I’d been before.
The couple I met for drinks was also new to three-person dating.
(Unless, of course, that’s the specific dynamic you want and even then, you have to make that clear too!
)Sure, it can be intimidating to share intimate information with people you’ve recently met.
It’s not like I was questioning my sexual identity, but I was deeply interested in exploring its nuances.
Simple adjustments to my online dating profiles opened the gate for messages from couples—and a rush of options.
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“But I’m also a sexual person.”She was familiar with the term “unicorn,” thanks to her involvement in the swinging community with her previous partner, but now was her chance to be that person for another couple.“In the past, I was always looking for a boyfriend or a husband, and my heart was always involved.